Case Closed

Greetings, readers!

It's been over a year since I last blogged. Interesting.

Last year I found myself in a university classroom in a tutorial on teaching literacy to primary school students. The tutor was great but the unit overall was terrible, and if you ever catch me in person I've got a whole rant about it that I'm happy to share if you remind me. In the tutorials, our excellent tutor taught us a range of activities for teaching literacy and also demonstrated many of them by getting the class to participate in the activities.

One of the activities is a writing activity where the teacher brings in a bunch of random objects and the students have to use the objects (all of them) as inspiration for a piece of writing. Our tutor brought in a range of random objects and gave us a short time to write about them. We didn't have to share our work and we only had about 10 minutes to write, anyway. But of course, I then zoned out for the rest of the session and completed my story, which I will now share here for you. If you're wondering why the first paragraphs features a number of random objects, including a specific brand of biscuits, it's because that was the exercise.

♥Nancy♬

Case Closed

A pen in a bottle. A pink plate covered in chocolate crumbs. A discarded biscuit box. A knife, gleaming red with blood. A dead body.

“It’s not much to go on.”

Rubber rustled as the detective, Kevin, took off his gloves. He brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes.

“And what’s with the pen? In the bottle?” said the detective’s partner, Sarah.

“We’ll get the lab to check it out. It’s probably nothing.”

“It’s just so odd. She seems like a kindly old lady. I mean, look at the biscuit box.”

The box was a grim sight. Perhaps it had once been a cheerful covering for Lebkuchen Hearts, Stars & Pretzels. Today, it was a lump of soggy cardboard, red and sticky with congealing blood, pierced by a knife.

“Come on,” said Sarah, “let’s go speak to the grandson.”

“They’re my favourite biscuits!” wailed the 20-year-old grandson. “Gran buys them every Thursday and we have tea together. But when I got here today… she was dead!”

“This has been a terrible trauma for you,” Sarah said. She put a comforting hand on the grandson’s shoulder. “Can you think of anyone who would have wanted to hurt your Gran?”

“Nooooooo!”

Kevin winced. It was too early in the day to deal with this high-pitched whine, especially on top of his customary Thursday-morning hangover.

“Everyone loved Gran,” said the grandson. He wiped his nose on the sleeve of his faded sweater. “Except Mrs Rupi, next door.”

“What?” said Kevin.

“Can you tell us a bit about Mrs Rupi?” said Sarah, who was much kinder and better with people, and much less hungover than Kevin.

“Gran bought some plates out from under her. Mrs Rupi wanted the pink plates from Mr Bumble’s retro store, but Gran bought them first. Did you see her pink plates? She loved them. There was one on… there was one on the floor where she was…” the grandson broke into wailing sobs again.

Kevin wrote Mrs Rupi, next door in his notebook.

“It’s not just a pen,” said the white-lab-coat-wearing forensic scientist, Lucy.  She was wearing a floral dress under her lab coat and shoes that were much higher than should have been worn in a laboratory environment. “And I think it’s in the bottle to keep it dry.”

“Yes, but what is it? If it’s not a pen?”

“It’s a covert recording device.”

“A bug?”

“Yes, a bug. It’s covered with Mrs Smyth’s fingerprints so I think it’s safe to say that it’s hers and she put it in the bottle.”

Sarah spoke up, “can you give us any idea of the timeline?”

Kevin asked, “what’s on the recording?”

“Yes to the timeline, absolutely,” said Lucy, “there’s blood on the pen and the bottle. She was stabbed, she got out the pen and put it safely in the bottle. And then she died.”

“Right, and the recording?”

Lucy waggled the mouse on her computer, revealing a desktop picture of herself surrounded by three hunky fellows drinking tropical cocktails. She navigated to the sound file. A deep voice boomed out of the speakers, in conversation with an old woman – clearly the victim.

“So, it’s Mrs Smyth now? An interesting choice. After you killed Mr Smyth in the Ukraine back in ’72.”

“Oh, go away. I’m done with all that. I don’t have anything for you. Fancy a biscuit?”

“I’m chasing intel about the Nepal mission of ’83.”

“My last case. Well, there’s nothing. I deleted all the files. I burned all the papers. I’m done with that life.”

“What did you find in Nepal, Sharon?”

“I won’t talk about it. Get out of my house!”

There was a loud crack and then a crackle in the audio.

“You bitch!”

The sounds of violence played out of the computer speakers. There was a guttural cry, furniture banging, and the clatter of the plate dropping to the floor. The male voice cursed, loudly, then footsteps ran away into the distance. A moment later, silence, as the pen was sealed into the bottle.

“Detective? Kevin?”

“Mm?” Kevin started awake and wiped a string of drool from the side of his mouth. He blinked against the bright fluoro lights of the precinct.

“You’re on the Sharon Smyth case?”

The speaker was the precinct receptionist, in a red sweater and sensible flats, with a voice like a mouse and hair to match.

“Mm,” grunted the detective.

“Meeting in the conference room.”

Kevin stood. He swayed on his feet.

“Sarah’s already there,” said the receptionist, unhelpfully.

Kevin went to join his partner.

Kevin slunk into the conference room and sat down next to Sarah.

“There’s drool on your tie,” she said, exactly as unhelpfully as the receptionist had been.

At the front of the room stood a man in a suit. He wore dark glasses and an earpiece. The chief, in uniform, stood next to him.

“We’re all here,” said the chief, “let’s begin.”

“I am Agent Matthews,” said the man in the suit, “from the City Intelligence Organisation. You are here because you are involved in the investigation of the murder of Sharon Smyth. Let me be clear: you are no longer involved in this investigation. It is now under the exclusive jurisdiction of the CIO.”

The chief took over, “on your desk, you will find a non-disclosure agreement. You will read it. You will sign it. You will return it to Agent Matthews before you leave this room.”

“Any questions?” said Agent Matthews, in a voice that implied there would be no questions, let alone answers.

Sarah, because of course it would be Sarah, called out, “what will happen to the grandson?”

“CIO counselling will be offered.”

Sarah settled back into her chair.

Detective Kevin signed his NDA with a pen from his pocket.

“Case closed,” he said. “Coming for a drink, Sarah?”

“Sure,” said Sarah, also signing her form.

They went to the pub.

By and Illistraishens by Nancy White

Okay guys, finish this sentence: "I am a..."

These days when I start a sentence with "I am a..." it's followed by my profession. I am a speech pathologist.

I guess sometimes you might follow it with your nationality. I am an Australian.

Maybe other demographic information. I am a white, middle class, able-bodied, cis-woman.

Some people might fill in their hobby. I am a SCAdian, perhaps. I am a Lady in the SCA? I am a dancer. I am a reader. I am a footy player (I'm not, that one was just an example).

I am a writer.

Am I, though?

Let's think this one through. This year can have a pass because we're only 15 days in.

I'll come back to 2014, 2015 & 2016.

In 2013, I did my Honours year at UWA. My subject? Creative writing. I wrote a lot. And I also attended an intensive creative writing course in Edinburgh. Where I also wrote a lot. In 2013, when I said "I am a writer" it was so true.

In 2014, I wrote about 3 short stories. In 2015, I wrote 3 stories. In 2016... I wrote 3 short stories. And bear in mind, I spent 7 months unemployed so I definitely had the time to write more.

I am, no longer, a writer.

But for most of my life, I have been a writer. And so today I have a special treat for you. I have been on a hunt to find the oldest recorded piece of writing that I produced. This piece is out of an old notebook that has 101 Dalmatians on the front (from the 1996 live-action move). We estimate that I was between 7 and 9 years old when this story was written. I will reproduce it here in type for you but I will keep the spelling as it is written in this notebook (including editing, although I’ll mark my comments today with square brackets) and I will photograph the "illistraishens" for you. Enjoy!

♥Nancy♬

Once upon a time.

by and illistraishens by Nancy White.

for a girl who's [unreadable] years old and her name is [unreadable - possibly Eileen].

7 chapters

The "Cover Page" of the Story

chap 1. The Fairy Princess

By Nancy White

Once upon a time there lived a princess named Rosie. Rosie was beutiful. She had long yellow hair. She also had silk dresses and jewellery. One day Rosie saw the most tiny and handsome teeny weeny tiny biny boy with wings. The next day she saw him again. Then the day after that. She saw him almost every day. On her 16^th birthday she was a fairy when she woke up. She cried with delight. It was wonderful. The thing was she did not have wings. She could dance and sing but could not fly.

I Can Only Assume This Is Meant to Be the Protagonist, Princess Rosie

chap 2 What Next!??!

Rosie was startled, at that instant the king came in and Rosie screamed.

King Quantas was angry at his daughter for screaming right write on the morning of her sixteenth birthday.

When Princess Rosie went into the garden to play with furry the palace cat, She shrunk to the size of furry. It scared Her.

chap 3 Growing Smaller!

Then smaller and smaller and smaller again she grew. Soon she was fairy sized. She still did not have wings.

Poor Rosie she was sad. Suddenly Rosie felt two bumps on her back. She knew it was her wings growing! Oh!, Oh!, Oh! she cried with delight.

Then She Rosie said “how did all this happen?” Then Next She Rosie he-ard a scary, wicked laugh!

chap. 4 A GOBLIN?

She then saw sour, ugly little men. Hundreds of them. At the back of the crowd she saw the little man. Rosie knew now, the little men were goblins.

Suddenly the goblins rushed at her. They captured Rosie and took her away.

chap. 5 The Dungeon

They put Rosie in a dungeon. The dungeon was damp and dirty. Rosie did not like it.

An evil servant gave her a cat and some fish. (wich was mouldy!) On her fitht day in the dungeon a little pixie said “tell me the answer to 2x11 and I will free you.” “The answer is 22” Rosie said. “Thank you my name’s Susan I’ll set you free now.” the pixie said. Susan freeded Rosie.

chap 6 !Free! ♡

!Free! ♡

Susan exclimated exclaimed “I’m glad your free, and I’m glad your my friend but shoudn’t we be getting home”!!? ?!! Rosie scampered away withe x [withe has a cross next to it, rather than the strikethrough that most other errors have] with Susans address on a piece of paper.

chap 7 Rejoceing Regjocing

When Rosie got home her father held a party. It had been an exiting week. Susan often came to play.

THE

     N

     D

I Probably Wrote "good job" Myself

Summer Movie Reviews

Happy New Year, everyone!

I am someone who goes to the movies regularly but not too often; I’m an average movie-goer. I don’t go every week. I don’t see everything at the cinema. If it’s a Marvel film, I’m 100% there and if it’s DC then I’ll probably never see it. Movie version of a book I like? I’ll see it. Random comedy or action flick? Probably not.

This summer, however, I’ve found myself at the cinema staring unblinkingly at a screen a grand total of five times. That’s a lot of cinema. And weirdly, I enjoyed every single one and was actually quite impressed with some of them. So I thought I’d review them here. I’ll keep these reviews spoiler free and so they’ll be fairly light.

I’m deliberately not giving these films a star rating, but I will rank them in order of my favourite (#1) to my least favourite (#5) of the movies that I’ve seen this summer. They’re presented here for you in the order that I viewed them.

Doctor Strange (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1211837/?ref_=nv_sr_2)

Viewed with: Adamo

Format: Regular cinema viewing

Ranking: #3

Honestly, me rating a Marvel film is a bit superfluous because I am guaranteed to love it. You could make the worst movie in the world, slap a Marvel logo on it, and I would be so blinded by my adoration for Marvel that I would still rate it 10/10. This particular Marvel film had to work a little harder to impress me because I’m not a huge fan of Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays Dr Stephen Strange (the titular Doctor Strange). But despite being wary of the lead actor, I still came out of this film feeling very pleased and with a new favourite movie in the Marvel MCU. Actually maybe The Avengers still takes that place. But Doctor Strange comes a close second.

It’s probably worth drawing attention to the controversy surrounding this film. Here’s an article http://variety.com/2016/film/news/asian-actors-whitewashing-doctor-strange-comic-book-films-1201910076/ basically, a character who was an Asian male in the comics is played by Tilda Swinton. Plus one for gender diversity, minus one for white-washing.

My biggest criticism with Doctor Strange has to do with Rachel McAdams, who plays Dr Christine Palmer. I really like her as an actress, I think she’s very talented. But I also think she’s a bit typecast as The Girlfriend Character (Who Doesn’t Do Anything Else Of Note Except Be The Girlfriend Character). And in Doctor Strange she’s a very successful Girlfriend Character. She does a bit of medical stuff – I said to Adamo while we were watching it “oh good, it’s secretly a medical drama!” – but she’s a reactive character only and although she performs some important duties to support the protagonist, I felt like any other character could have stepped into her shoes. There just wasn’t enough to her character. When I’m looking for a strong female character in the media, Rachel McAdams in Doctor Strange does not make my list.

Anyways, criticisms aside, this is a movie with a good blend of action and comedy, a protagonist who’s kind of a dick but in a loveable Tony Stark sort of way and some really cool magical powers and effects, although they do occasionally look a lot like Inception. Marvel fans have got to see it, but people who aren’t Marvel fanatics will probably also enjoy it.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3183660/?ref_=nv_sr_1)

Viewed with: Aimee

Format: Regular cinema viewing

Ranking #5

It was such a pleasure to take another walk through the Harry Potter universe. Everything was so familiar – the wands! The spells! An attractive British redhead! And yet this was a strange film to watch because for the first time I went to see a Harry Potter film without knowing the story. Of course I’ve read the book Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, but it’s just a textbook, not a storybook.

There’s controversy surrounding this film too and, as with Doctor Strange, it’s around the casting. Here’s an article that mentions the issue http://thenewdaily.com.au/entertainment/movies/2016/11/16/fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them-review/ Personally I feel that this controversial casting decision could and should have been avoided. Depending on the direction that they want to go with the character in future films this actor may be a good choice from a technical acting perspective. But I think this controversy speaks to a larger issue in that a generation of fans were raised by the Harry Potter books & movies to support the little guy, end discrimination, fairness for all, stand up for the abused and punish the abuser (see: Umbridge’s centaur-related fate)  and now J K Rowling and the producers of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them have made a casting decision that goes against the worldview that Harry Potter and his adventures instilled in so many. Here’s an article (not the one I actually wanted to share, sadly) that sort of touches on this larger issue and is sort of about other things as well http://thebaffler.com/blog/harry-potter-laurie-penny

Okay so, Eddie Redmayne. Yes please. I thought he was great as Newt Scamander (the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, although in this film the book hasn’t been written yet) and I’ve been loving him in all the publicity for the film, especially when he stands up for Hufflepuffs. I’m a Ravenclaw myself but my sister Eileen has been a Hufflepuff since forever and Adamo is a Hufflepuff, so I can appreciate that Hufflepuffs are cool people. I’m glad they’re getting some mainstream appreciation.

And look, I adore Eddie Redmayne but ultimately he was not the stand-out actor in Fantastic Beasts. That honour goes to Colin Farrell who was incredible as the character Graves. What a brilliant performance, honestly. He was charming and creepy, and what’s not to love about the homoerotic tension in his scenes with the equally creepy Ezra Miller?

But we haven’t yet touched on my favourite thing about the film, and that is the magic. Cinema technology has come a long way since we first met Harry Potter on screen in 2001 (gee whiz, has it been that long?). The magic in Fantastic Beasts is what made the film interesting and beautiful to me. It’s not even the magic creatures that do it, although the Bowtruckle is cute, the platypus – sorry, the Niffler – is hilarious and the Erumpent makes for a comical scene. No, it’s the everyday magic and in particular the household magic. It’s Tina and Queenie using magic to change their clothes; because of course witches would be able to change their clothes using magic, what’s the point of being a witch if you still have to take a spare dress and shoes along and spend half an hour in the bathroom redoing your look? It’s making an apple strudel out of thin air. It’s the ironing doing itself. It’s real-life magic, the sort that we wanted to see Molly Weasley doing and instead we got animatronic pots & pans because that was the best they could do. I loved the magic.

I won’t say anything about the plot because I just don’t think I can do it without spoiling something. I think certain key elements were inadequately explained and that is why, despite being totally in awe of the magic and the look of this film, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them only ranks at #5 of the 5 films I’ve seen this summer. That said, go and see it. Take your friend who refuses to read Harry Potter or see those films; you can enjoy this movie without all that background information.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3748528/?ref_=nv_sr_2)

Viewed with: Adamo and also my parents, although we didn’t sit with them because the cinema was too full

Format: iMax 3D

Ranking: #1

Important background information: yes, I’ve seen all the Star Wars movies. I support a 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3 viewing order. And then I guess 7, which I thought was pretty good. But honestly, while I do enjoy the Star Wars movies, I’m not an actual fan of the series. I think R2D2 is annoying rather than cute, sorry.

But oh my god you guys, Rogue One was incredible. INCREDIBLE. Go and see it if you haven’t seen it already.

I’m so glad that we saw it in iMax 3D. It was big and loud and absolutely beautiful up on that screen. And the iMax 3D glasses are a better shape than the RealD 3D glasses, for wearing over my spectacles.

I don’t have any criticisms.

Diego Luna is beautiful, and also a very talented actor.

Felicity Jones was so so good and everything I could ever want out of a strong female protagonist.

I did not expect the ending.

Sassy robot was my favourite character.

Here’s an uplifting article about why representation is so important and how Diego Luna made a difference just by being super talented (and attractive) http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/rogue-one-star-wars-diego-luna-representation-mexican-cassian-andor-a7508921.html

Readers, go and see this movie. It is my number 1 favourite out of the movies that I have watched this summer and it is absolutely amazing.

Moana (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3521164/?ref_=nv_sr_1)

Viewed with: Adamo

Format: Regular cinema viewing

Ranking: #4

Sorry Moana, it’s not that you weren’t good, it’s just that you weren’t as good as the other films that I saw this summer. It seems unkind to rank this film #4 because it was very good. And of course it was going to be good, because Disney is generally more hit than miss and this was no exception.

Firstly, the short. I love Disney shorts. This one is called Inner Workings and it was completely relatable and cute. Disney movies often make me cry and this one had me a bit damp-eyed before the main feature even started.

Here’s an article about mixed reactions from Pacific Islander peoples to this film http://vmagazine.com/article/mixed-responses-moana/ I think what’s great about it is that it is representation for a huge group of people, which is fantastic, but it’s more than just a princess who’s not white for once, it’s also about the representation of an entire culture. Some of the big criticisms I’ve read have been about Maui (voiced by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) and about how it was unrealistic for Moana to be in line to be chief because women are not chiefs. So basically, it’s not perfect, but perhaps it’s a step in the right direction for mainstream representation of a culture that’s not white & blonde (oh hi, Elsa, Rapunzel, Cinderella, Aurora, Eilonwy, Alice, Odette – I think that’s most of the blondes).

I like musicals. I like singing. I love singing along to musicals, like when I’m driving or playing computer games or literally whenever I hear a song from a musical. So I tend to be more of a fan of toe-tapping, catchy, sing-along numbers. I came out of Moana a little disappointed in the music. Not that it wasn’t great, it was. The music was fantastic and it was a really different sound from anything else that we’ve heard in a Disney film before. But I didn’t come out of the film singing anything. Nothing in this film ear-wormed me. And then… a few days later I found myself singing “You’re Welcome”, which is the big song sung by Maui. Here it is if you want to listen https://youtu.be/79DijItQXMM Moana features music by Lin-Manuel Miranda. If you’re not familiar with this guy, look up his musical Hamilton, which won every Tony award ever. He’s fairly talented.

The animation was beautiful and I think that was the main thing that had us walking out of the cinema saying “that was great!” because it was a beautiful movie to look at. It was bright and colourful and the water was well animated. Water done wrong is really obnoxious to watch. Actually the water as a character was a bit obnoxious but that’s not the point I guess.

All in all, it’s worth a watch. I’m sure kids will love it. It made me cry quite a lot, but Disney movies tend to do that.

Arrival (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2543164/)

Viewed with: Adamo and my parents

Format: Moonlight Cinema in King’s Park

Ranking: #2

And it was a close one with Rogue One, this was a great film that nearly took my #1 spot out of these 5 movies.

You guys. The protagonist of this story is a linguist and she literally saves the world using her linguistics powers. I mean linguistics knowledge. She’s awesome.

The co-protagonist is a physicist and he’s bloody useless. Sorry physicists, I feel like you were let down a little by this movie. I mean, he’s a nice guy. Nice to look at (hellooooo Jeremy Renner). But he doesn’t actually do much physics-ing.

Amy Adams gives a great performance as linguist Louise Banks.

This is an alien movie and I think aliens are something that movies do really badly all the time. They give us bad aliens. I thought that the aliens in this film were good aliens. I won’t tell you details because I don’t want to spoil it. The big reveal of the aliens is an excellent scene. Tension is built well and the reveal has gravitas. These are not silly aliens and they are not badly done aliens. They are really good aliens.

Linguist as a protagonist? Sign me up! The movie never asks its protagonist to justify the importance of linguistics. When we meet Ian Donnelly (the physicist played by Jeremy Renner) he basically argues that science is more important to civilisation than language is. He’s wrong, of course. But I can see why STEM types would agree with him. Linguistics is a “social science” or a “light” science; you can take it as part of an Arts degree (like I did). People often take linguistics alongside English literature (and obviously a study of literature and art and culture is totally unnecessary to society…) So it makes perfect sense that the physicist in the movie would, at least at first, brush aside linguistics as a secondary field, something less important than physics. Relevant XKCD http://xkcd.com/435/ (interestingly, linguistics doesn’t appear in this comic panel, but I would argue that although it is closely related to sociology it actually falls in between biology and psychology, because an understanding of neurobiology and the biology of the larynx, mouth, etc. is a necessary part of the study of linguistics, and both sociolinguistics and psycholinguistics are their own thing). Anyway, the point is that in this film it quickly becomes apparent that linguistics far outranks physics simply because you can’t do science unless you have a way to communicate about the science. Louise Banks has to justify particular choices she makes, but she never has to justify the relevance or necessity of her field, and I think that’s amazing.

This is a really difficult movie to talk about without spoiling something. Adamo picked up on what was happening earlier than I did. For me, the ending, the revelation, the twist, the explanation, whatever you want to call it, was a complete surprise.

Arrival is science fiction. And it’s real science fiction. It’s not space opera like Star Wars (and let’s face it, space opera is a subgenre of fantasy, not scifi). It’s not fantasy with aliens. It’s not fantasy on a spaceship. It’s proper, hardcore science fiction. It takes knowledge that we have now and it applies it to aliens, which lets you bend the rules just a little, extends the knowledge a little further than our current understanding, and delivers as a fiction that is entirely plausible. That’s true, hardcore sci-fi. And that’s how I like my sci-fi.

Usually I like movies that are fun. I went to see Moana, Fantastic Beasts, Doctor Strange. These are all fun movies. Rogue One was fun too, with a few comedic elements thrown in there to balance out the action and serious drama. Arrival wasn’t fun. It wasn’t very funny. But it was deeply enjoyable.

Maybe I was biased towards liking this movie. Because I’m a linguist. But I think people who aren’t linguists will appreciate the film too, and so I urge you to go and see this one.

Now let me summarise these films for you in the order that I ranked them:

#1 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, a beautiful, fantastic addition to the Star Wars universe that you should definitely go and see.

#2 Arrival, hardcore sci-fi with a linguist as the protagonist, utterly brilliant.

#3 Doctor Strange, a magical, Marvel adventure.

#4 Moana, a Disney princess film featuring a Pacific Islander princess.

#5 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, a magical movie based on a textbook set in the Harry Potter universe.

BAM reviewed.

Have you seen these films? Do you plan to see them? What’s your take on them? Which was your favourite? How often do you attend the cinema? Am I procrastinating my chores and sewing today? Let me know your thoughts.

♥Nancy♬