31 July, 2019

Found While Recycling

'Sup everyone?

I've been trying to get my house and/or life into order recently, including recycling some old notebooks. But I never like to ditch notebooks until I've had a flip through them, just on the off-chance that I wrote something brilliant.

I'm not sure this counts as brilliant, but it's a piece of writing so I figured I'd share it anyway. Totally out of context of course - I suspect I imagined the scene rather than a wider plot to fit it into. But oh well.

Enjoy!

♥Nancy♬

Like the wings of a manta ray under the ocean, her coat moved rhythmically in the wind. The fabric was light and moved silently – black wings brushing against black legs. The shoes were the noisy part – click, click, click – heels on brick paving. That, and the wind itself. The unnatural breeze, sprung from nowhere with no notice, keened between the buildings. A national flag snapped loudly against its pole, then wrapped around it and, despite the continuing wind, hung limp. Those geographic divisions were no longer relevant in the face of the gathering storm. Click, click, click. Heels against the paving, assertive strides that carried her on her way with purpose and without hesitation. Another sound joined the wind’s howl: the gentle chuck of a door latch, the soft sound of rubber soles on the paving, the brush of fabric as clothed arms moved to give silent signals. Quiet. You go there. Follow her. Go around; intercept her. Wait. Aim. Fire. A change in the sounds: a quick click-click as her feet came together and she stood still in the wind. The crack of a gunshot, precision aim at a terrifying foe. The dark sky lit up, as if the gunshot had switched on a light in heaven. A bolt of hot electricity hit the flying bullet. Molten metal splashed onto the ground, halfway between soldier and target. The black mantra-ray wings of her coat hung straight and still. Her mouth curved into a smile.

30 June, 2019

"This Is Gonna Be So Much Fun!" - Season 1 Episode 1

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23 May, 2019

“Hello, Nice to Meet You” – How This All Started

Since 2016, I have been obsessed - "certifiably cute and adorably obsessed" - with a television show. Given the nature of the show, I think it’s worth expanding on this word obsessed to be more specific; I mean obsessed in the psychological sense of fixation as in a “persistent attachment to an object or idea” (thanks Wikipedia) with a side helping of celebrity worship syndrome, which you might get a sense of later in this post.

The show’s finale aired on April 5th2019 and I’m honestly not over it yet. Everyone is all “oh no, Game of Thrones is over,” and I’m just here like, “my show ended over a month ago and I’m still deeply depressed, so good luck my pals…”

My show, by the way, is Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and I do fully recommend it to basically everyone but I also understand the reasons why you might choose not to watch it, especially after reading that title (which may get its own post one day because it's super interesting to consider the pros, cons & reasons around such a controversial title).


I have a lot of thoughts about the show. For those who have seen it and/or spoken to me about it, this won’t be a surprise at all. For those who are unfamiliar, you might wonder how much one person can have to say about a show called Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Well firstly, I’m aware of at least two PhDs that are being done on this show, so that tells you something. And secondly, this particular television show really does lend itself to critical analysis – in the sense of literary critique rather than just review. Although for the record, I rate it 5/5 stars.

So I’m planning to write a few blog posts about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, because I really need to process my thoughts and feelings about a show that has been a huge and important part of my life for 3 years. I don’t know how many posts I’ll be doing and I don’t know what the release schedule will look like.

In today’s topic "How This All Started" I’ll share with you 1) how I discovered the show, 2) what made me watch it, and 3) an introduction to the show’s creator, writer, director and lead actor, Rachel Bloom.

1.    How I Discovered Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

I like to do quizzes.

I really like to do quizzes.

Which means that I always say yes to market researchers on the phone, I love to help people out with quizzes for their university research studies, I often fall prey to clickbait on Facebook, and there was a time in my life when I would spend hours and hours doing Buzzfeed quizzes. I’m a recovering addict these days.




And the result that I got was this song. I think the Buzzfeed quiz linked to The CW channel YouTube so that the first Crazy Ex-Girlfriend song that I heard was actually the clean version of “I’m So Good At Yoga”, but I’ll link the explicit version for you here because I think it’s much better.


Notable quote: "Great each day, Namaste, fuuuuuck you, you're fat."

By the way, no spoilers for any major plot points here. I’ll put in a clear warning if I’m likely to spoil anything.

2.   What Made Me Watch It

I really enjoyed the song. “I’m So Good At Yoga” is funny and a bit dirty, and pretty relatable if you’ve ever been to a yoga class or even just seen really hot people working out near to where you’re working out.

In the grand scheme, this song isn’t one of my favourites and definitely wouldn’t make a top 10 list, probably not even a Top 10 Songs of Season 1 list. Especially because, in hindsight, I acknowledge that it’s rather culturally appropriative... It also contains some fat-shaming, but that's sort of the point of the song and the humour isn't in the fat-shaming, it's in Rebecca's imagined perception of Valencia's behaviour towards her. But anyway, that's a discussion for another time.

But all in all, I did enjoy the song at the time so I was curious about the show, which made me go on to Google it and then to watch Season 1 Episode 1.

In case you were wondering, this was the first time I had ever heard of the show, and timing-wise it had just come back from the Season 1 mid-season break. So I was a little late on the uptake.

My reaction to S01E01 probably deserves its own blog post, so I’ll leave that topic for now. Suffice to say, the rest is history.

It wasn’t just “I’m So Good At Yoga” that made me watch the show. It was the fact that I recognised the girl in the music video who was doing yoga. And when I Googled the show, that actor’s name was the one that came up and that sealed the deal to get me to watch the first episode. 

3.   Rachel Bloom

I may have discovered Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in early 2016, but I’ve been a fan of Rachel Bloom since 2011 when one of her songs made the front page of College Humour.

Enjoy (or probably not tbh because most people don't appreciate this one the same way that I do), “I Steal Pets.”


Notable quote: "I start slow dancing with Greg Mendelsson's terrier mix."

I loved “I Steal Pets” when it first came out. My family hated me for weeks because I played it over and over again. Sorry not sorry fam.

And after discovering “I Steal Pets”, I caught up on Rachel Bloom’s other work, including the amazing “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury” for which she received a nomination for a Hugo Award. I think in general more people would appreciate “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury,” so here it is:


Notable quote: "We'll read a little Fahrenheit 69."

And I followed Rachel Bloom pretty closely, and also loved “Jazz Fever” when she released that. It remains one of my favourites to this day.


Notable quote: "Buzz off, penicillin, inject me with jazz!"

But I had lost track of what Rachel Bloom was up to sometime after "Jazz Fever", so I was really surprised to see that she was not just a character in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but that she was in fact the eponymous “crazy ex-girlfriend”.

So that certainly helped to get me on board, since I knew that I enjoyed Rachel Bloom’s musical comedy.

Now that the show is over, I’ll be keeping a close eye on Rachel Bloom because Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has been amazing and I’m sure I’ll love whatever else she ends up doing too. I mentioned celebrity worship syndrome earlier - I've got a touch of it when it comes to Rachel Bloom.

That’s enough for now, but I’ll definitely be writing about this again because I still have some feelings to work through.

♥Nancy♬

26 January, 2018

Case Closed

Greetings, readers!

It's been over a year since I last blogged. Interesting.

Last year I found myself in a university classroom in a tutorial on teaching literacy to primary school students. The tutor was great but the unit overall was terrible, and if you ever catch me in person I've got a whole rant about it that I'm happy to share if you remind me. In the tutorials, our excellent tutor taught us a range of activities for teaching literacy and also demonstrated many of them by getting the class to participate in the activities.

One of the activities is a writing activity where the teacher brings in a bunch of random objects and the students have to use the objects (all of them) as inspiration for a piece of writing. Our tutor brought in a range of random objects and gave us a short time to write about them. We didn't have to share our work and we only had about 10 minutes to write, anyway. But of course, I then zoned out for the rest of the session and completed my story, which I will now share here for you. If you're wondering why the first paragraphs features a number of random objects, including a specific brand of biscuits, it's because that was the exercise.

♥Nancy♬

Case Closed

A pen in a bottle. A pink plate covered in chocolate crumbs. A discarded biscuit box. A knife, gleaming red with blood. A dead body.
“It’s not much to go on.”
Rubber rustled as the detective, Kevin, took off his gloves. He brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes.
“And what’s with the pen? In the bottle?” said the detective’s partner, Sarah.
“We’ll get the lab to check it out. It’s probably nothing.”
“It’s just so odd. She seems like a kindly old lady. I mean, look at the biscuit box.”
The box was a grim sight. Perhaps it had once been a cheerful covering for Lebkuchen Hearts, Stars & Pretzels. Today, it was a lump of soggy cardboard, red and sticky with congealing blood, pierced by a knife.
“Come on,” said Sarah, “let’s go speak to the grandson.”

“They’re my favourite biscuits!” wailed the 20-year-old grandson. “Gran buys them every Thursday and we have tea together. But when I got here today… she was dead!”
“This has been a terrible trauma for you,” Sarah said. She put a comforting hand on the grandson’s shoulder. “Can you think of anyone who would have wanted to hurt your Gran?”
“Nooooooo!”
Kevin winced. It was too early in the day to deal with this high-pitched whine, especially on top of his customary Thursday-morning hangover.
“Everyone loved Gran,” said the grandson. He wiped his nose on the sleeve of his faded sweater. “Except Mrs Rupi, next door.”
“What?” said Kevin.
“Can you tell us a bit about Mrs Rupi?” said Sarah, who was much kinder and better with people, and much less hungover than Kevin.
“Gran bought some plates out from under her. Mrs Rupi wanted the pink plates from Mr Bumble’s retro store, but Gran bought them first. Did you see her pink plates? She loved them. There was one on… there was one on the floor where she was…” the grandson broke into wailing sobs again.
Kevin wrote Mrs Rupi, next door in his notebook.

“It’s not just a pen,” said the white-lab-coat-wearing forensic scientist, Lucy.  She was wearing a floral dress under her lab coat and shoes that were much higher than should have been worn in a laboratory environment. “And I think it’s in the bottle to keep it dry.”
“Yes, but what is it? If it’s not a pen?”
“It’s a covert recording device.”
“A bug?”
“Yes, a bug. It’s covered with Mrs Smyth’s fingerprints so I think it’s safe to say that it’s hers and she put it in the bottle.”
Sarah spoke up, “can you give us any idea of the timeline?”
Kevin asked, “what’s on the recording?”
“Yes to the timeline, absolutely,” said Lucy, “there’s blood on the pen and the bottle. She was stabbed, she got out the pen and put it safely in the bottle. And then she died.”
“Right, and the recording?”
Lucy waggled the mouse on her computer, revealing a desktop picture of herself surrounded by three hunky fellows drinking tropical cocktails. She navigated to the sound file. A deep voice boomed out of the speakers, in conversation with an old woman – clearly the victim.
“So, it’s Mrs Smyth now? An interesting choice. After you killed Mr Smyth in the Ukraine back in ’72.”
“Oh, go away. I’m done with all that. I don’t have anything for you. Fancy a biscuit?”
“I’m chasing intel about the Nepal mission of ’83.”
“My last case. Well, there’s nothing. I deleted all the files. I burned all the papers. I’m done with that life.”
“What did you find in Nepal, Sharon?”
“I won’t talk about it. Get out of my house!”
There was a loud crack and then a crackle in the audio.
“You bitch!”
The sounds of violence played out of the computer speakers. There was a guttural cry, furniture banging, and the clatter of the plate dropping to the floor. The male voice cursed, loudly, then footsteps ran away into the distance. A moment later, silence, as the pen was sealed into the bottle.

“Detective? Kevin?”
“Mm?” Kevin started awake and wiped a string of drool from the side of his mouth. He blinked against the bright fluoro lights of the precinct.
“You’re on the Sharon Smyth case?”
The speaker was the precinct receptionist, in a red sweater and sensible flats, with a voice like a mouse and hair to match.
“Mm,” grunted the detective.
“Meeting in the conference room.”
Kevin stood. He swayed on his feet.
“Sarah’s already there,” said the receptionist, unhelpfully.
Kevin went to join his partner.

Kevin slunk into the conference room and sat down next to Sarah.
“There’s drool on your tie,” she said, exactly as unhelpfully as the receptionist had been.
At the front of the room stood a man in a suit. He wore dark glasses and an earpiece. The chief, in uniform, stood next to him.
“We’re all here,” said the chief, “let’s begin.”
“I am Agent Matthews,” said the man in the suit, “from the City Intelligence Organisation. You are here because you are involved in the investigation of the murder of Sharon Smyth. Let me be clear: you are no longer involved in this investigation. It is now under the exclusive jurisdiction of the CIO.”
The chief took over, “on your desk, you will find a non-disclosure agreement. You will read it. You will sign it. You will return it to Agent Matthews before you leave this room.”
“Any questions?” said Agent Matthews, in a voice that implied there would be no questions, let alone answers.
Sarah, because of course it would be Sarah, called out, “what will happen to the grandson?”
“CIO counselling will be offered.”
Sarah settled back into her chair.
Detective Kevin signed his NDA with a pen from his pocket.
“Case closed,” he said. “Coming for a drink, Sarah?”
“Sure,” said Sarah, also signing her form.
They went to the pub.