Subtitled: Or A Slightly Philosophical Discussion between Two Guys...
Exclusive foreword by the author: So, this is just a snippet of writing. A lot of you have read it already. It's just short and sweet, kind of a lighthearted look at an issue that could be taken more seriously. Enjoy! ♥Nancy♫
P.S. Do you think I should share this in my creative writing class?
Disclaimer: Viewpoints presented by characters in the following snippet of writing do not necessarily represent the views of the author.
Ben slowly picked up his bacon sandwich from the china plate it lay on and lifted it to his mouth, about to bite.
‘Hi.’ Ben looked up at the sound of his friend’s voice.
‘Hi. What’s wrong?’ Perhaps it was from being best mates for years, but he had this uncanny way of always knowing when something was wrong. And the look on Tom’s face indicated that something was indeed very wrong.
‘Sammi’s pregnant,’ he said, flatly.
‘Huh?’ He put down the sandwich. He’d been looking forward to it all day, and now it was being ruined by a crazy story about Tom’s girlfriend.
‘She’s knocked up, expecting, bun-in-the-oven. There is a baby growing inside Samantha.’
‘Actually, it’s probably nothing like a baby yet. It’s probably just a bunch of cells that are all growing and dividing and stuff and will eventually turn into a baby.’
‘Ben! God, my girlfriend’s pregnant and you’re giving me bio tutoring? Come on man.’
‘Ok, wow, I didn’t think you were serious,’ although really he still didn’t.
‘Would I joke about something like this – don’t answer that,’ he added, before Ben could, ‘my girlfriend is pregnant. Samantha is pregnant.’ For the first time, he began to believe his friend; a belief based wholly on the heaviness of his final three words.
‘Oh. Oh. Ok.’
‘That’s all?’ cried Tom, getting hysterical. He was such a sissy sometimes it was hard to see what Samantha saw in him.
‘Ok, hold on. I need processing time.’ He paused, thinking. ‘What’s she gonna do?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, is she going to keep it? Get rid of it? Have it and then give it up for adoption?’
‘She wants an abortion.’
‘But?’ Ben looked at Tom. ‘Come on, finish your sentences dude.’
‘I don’t want her to have an abortion.’
‘So? It’s her prerogative.’
Tom sat down on the chair next to Ben. ‘I know that. I’ve always known that. I even used to agree with that.’
‘But now… don’t touch that,’ Ben said, as Tom reached for the bacon sandwich.
Tom stood up again to get a knife out of the drawer as he answered. ‘Look, I never considered abortion to be wrong or anything before. I’ve always been pro-choice and I even went with Marg to a few of those pro-choice rally things.’ His ex-girlfriend, Marg, happened to be Ben’s sister. She was – now – a stereotypical feminist and had left Tom for her best friend – a girl named Sofia who had pointy ears like a pixie, who was, apparently, better in bed than any man she’d ever been with.
‘But,’ Tom continued, chopping the sandwich in half despite Ben’s protests, and sitting back down, ‘it’s a completely different thing now that it’s my baby in the question.’
‘In the uterus actually,’ Ben said, helpfully.
‘Doesn’t it become a womb when it’s got a baby in it? God, who knows? Anyway, now that we’re talking about my baby being sucked out of her and just flushed away or whatever, I’ve actually gone a bit pro-life.’
‘And what does Sammi say to this?’ Ben picked up his half of the sandwich, trying not to feel as though something was missing, when in fact half of it was.
‘It was something along the lines of “I’m the one who has to carry and give birth to this stupid baby if I keep it, so I’m having the goddamn abortion, you effing bastard.” So clearly I’ve got every chance of convincing her otherwise.’ He had his moping face on and was starting to sound a bit whiny.
‘Look, you’re too young to be a father anyway.’
‘Yes, yes, I know. And she’s too young to be a mother.’
‘But more importantly,’ Ben said quickly, before Tom could launch back into more “but it’s my baby” arguments, ‘has she told her brother yet?’
Tom looked shocked. ‘Damn, I hope not. I’m dead if she has. He didn’t even know we were sleeping together.’
‘How’d she even get pregnant? I mean, you guys were being careful and stuff, right?’
‘Of course – I didn’t exactly want this to happen. Although about a month back we got really drunk at Tania Smith’s party. So maybe… I don’t know.’
‘So then how do you even know if it’s yours?’
‘Well, the next morning we found her panties attached to my belt buckle, and neither of us could remember how they got there.’
‘Not exactly proof though, is it?’
‘We were naked in my bed.’
‘Getting better, but still…’
‘It’s mine, Ben. Sammi’d never cheat on me, and being drunk that night would only make me more likely to beat up anything who tried to hit on her.’
‘Sucks to be you,’ Ben said, unable to think of anything else to say.
‘D’you think she’d marry me? I love her enough. Should I ask?’
‘Not yet mate. I think you need to get drunk and have a cry first.’
‘That sounds really gay.’ Tom finished his half of the sandwich. ‘Got anything to drink?’
